BT XII - Day 15. The final leg

OK so the advantage of the ferry home is you gain that extra hour,  the one you didn't really miss losing on the way out, due to the excitement.  The disadvantage is the 6am alert and notification that you will be docking in an hour (nett result is an actual loss of an hours sleep).
Time to get up and fight through the throngs of happy families and grumbling children for your coffee.
Question,  why do ferry companies think it is a good idea to disgorge a boat load of vehicles into rush hour traffic?
The journey up from Hull was pleasant (and hot) enough had it not been for Graeme's 4 'incidents' within ten miles of Alnwick (to add to his one in the previous 3700 miles).  The first of his own making, the remaining three, down to drivers making sudden inexplicable manoeuvres without any reason or indication.   All in a days riding though!
I am however looking forward to not riding tomorrow,   maybe wash the bike ?    Who am I kidding!

BT XII - Day 14

For the first time on this trip,  we over slept,  I mean, it not as though we have 250 miles to drive and a ferry to catch,  or anything.
Despite that we ate a relaxed breakfast and set off for a slow bimble round the Dutch countryside.   After paying our respects to the Gormley sculpture of  Valentino Rossi at  Lelystad we crossed the  Zuidersee on the causeway then rode the dyke (no pun intended)  for many miles in perfect conditions.
With that complete, it was time for my least favourite motorway sections (excepting any stretch of autostrada).  With no eateries in evidence we arrived at the  P & O tub horribly early but we're allowed to board fairly quickly.  Following a shower and a complaint about the cabin (which was grim) we were upgraded to a premium cabin (it had a window) although I don't know if the effort of moving was worth it.
A mediocre meal and off to our premium beds.

BT XII - Day 13 pics

BT XII - Day 13

I wanna see the sea.
Today was due to be a long day on the coastal road through Bremmerhaven.  When we found ourselves inside a secure area of the port we recalculated the day to allow faster roads {despite being straight they all had rediculous speed restrictions }.   Leaving the port of Bremmerhaven we waved a cheery goodbye to the security and customs guards and continued on our 250 coastal mile day.
After the first  150 miles all we had managed to see was a grassy embankment/dyke and I had imagined a nice coast and view of the sea.   I rebelled,   I ignored the GPS and followed a sign to a harbour. Following the road through the harbour we found the coast {well a caravan site on the coast } but the tide was so far out that we still never got to see the sea.
In order to get back to the main road we ended up riding along the quayside of a very busy museum of sailing (it was a Sunday afternoon).
To make it up to John, we had our first lunch stop of the week.
We got an abrupt entry into the Netherlands coming straight off an autobahn and into a 20mph suburb.
As this is our last night we have celebrated by using up some of our clean clothes.
Tomorrow will be a grueling 260 mile dash to the ferry.

Day 11 - Baltic Ferry

Stress Management

BT XII - Day 12

Stress management.
Another interesting if non challenging day -ish.
Stress levels were reduced as a result of us riding through horse country.   Huge luxurious yards and fields upon fields of very tasty (in every sense of the expression) horse flesh.   There was also the occasional zebra,  camel and  wildebeest!!!.
With stress managed we hit Hamburg.  At this point Graeme's brakes were still causing  vibration problems however these were made worse by the frequent traffic light stops (seriously did Hamburg get a job lot?).   As the engine temperature mounted, the bike started stalling due to low revs.  The difficulty of breaking,  maintaining engine revs,  navigating and trying to keep together was tricky to say the least.
After one 'umleitung' the bike stalled in a car park,  so we stopped and let it cool down. With a minor clutch adjustment we set off again with no further problems.
After a shower,  a few beers and a pudding for me,  stress levels were returned to normal and I felt that at long last Hamburg had obtained some revenge on the Maguire family.

Pictorial failure

Having problems posting pictures just now so they will have to wait

BT XII - Day 11

A day of recalculation.
Today was supposed to be an easy day in the saddle,  so we thought we would travel the more scenic coastal route.   This would have been fine had it not been a Friday in holiday season (and also the 13th).  With no alternative we were stuck in a 20 mile long queue. Getting hot and bothered,  i indulged in a bit of quaisi-legal overtaking and eventually reached our turn off.  After waiting over half an hour for John I started getting worried.   He arrived just as i was about to retrace my route.   He had been trapped on the wrong side of a lift bridge which I had obviously cleared shortly before the closure.
More gps recalculation ensued but try as we may we struggled to find any interesting roads,  or even any that weren't straight or busy.
This is in stark contrast to the town of Malachin where we are domiciled for the night.   The entire town is either away. asleep or dead.   Everywhere is closed or empty,  so without  WiFi, it's early to bed.
Well done Germany,  today you made some parts of Poland seem interesting and thriving,  you even managed to provide some cobbled stretches of road that Poland would have been proud of.

BT XII - Day 10 pics

BT XII - Day 10

Today I thought of many pithy comments to make but the pain in my ass has made me forget them all.
Lessons learned.today.   If the GPS  tells you that a Polish road is unpaved,  BELIEVE IT.  Even paved roads can be almost unrideable.  At one point today it was preferable riding in the sand and silt on the verge to navigating the potholes.
We made another prompt start today,  partly due to mileage but mostly because we ordered breakfast at the wrong time!  After 25 of our 250 miles we decided that some corners would be nice so again have given Tomtom the lead for some windey roads.   To be fair only a few of OUR preprogrammed roads were unpaved or otherwise disasterous.  We rode through some fabulous woods /forests which were either military of forestry commission type roads.    All roads except the main roads,  were still bumpy and more turning effort was put into avoiding bumps /potholes than actually going round bends.
Our overnight stop is in a holiday resort on the largest Polish island and is comparible to Blackpool.  A long evening walk round the funfair and to the Baltic. (which looked fecking cold) built up o3r appetite for tea and was not  (solely)  totty watching.

BT XII - Day 9 last thoughts

When using the expression "level crossing"   the clue is in the word  LEVEL 😫

BT XII - Day 9

In contrast to previous days,  a relatively short easy day was planned,  but this was not good enough for John.  Subsequently, we added an extra 50 miles.   This caused me some unease as the last time i let John pick some roads,  I ended up in hospital and the bike required some major rebuilding.   Thankfully history did not repeat itself.
Also in sharp contrast to previous days we did not come across any closed roads, although maybe some of them should have been.  
The road quality varies from very good to  'is this really a road '  and quite honestly some of the roadworks should have had the roads closed.
Impressions of the Polish roads,   lovely tree lined roads,  rough roads,  (must visit the dentist and get some fillings replaced)  straight roads.  
Impressions of Polish nature,  nice to see cranes playing,  so much healthy mistletoe.   We even spotted a couple of fields that were not devoted to corn which seems to be the only crop we have seen on the entire tour, so far.  Sad to witness
so much dilapidated property and so many uncultivated fields.
And so another day ended,  within schedule, all be it without many rest stops.
Another superb supper,  this time we didn't have starters, so were able to empty our plates.

Pirates at the ready

All set for another days riding in Poland

BT XII - Day 8 dinner

BT XII - Day 8

I spoke too soon.
Ah, you crazy Czechs and your closed roads,  how you make me yearn for the cuddly little German umleitungs.  We had 6 closed roads and numerous temporary traffic lights before the half way point of today's ride.  Some of the closed roads had diversions,  some did not and all were completely incomprehensible to any non Czech speakers. The might and wonder of our GPS again came to put aid.
Fortunately with a long ride today we set off sharply this morning.  The early departure was wasted when John and I parted ways during the first diversion and took nearly half an hour to meet up again,  precisely where we started. (if only my Bluetooth had been working.)
The day promised rain which we were lucky to mostly avoid. However the waterproofs were invaluable in the damp,  spray and for insulation purposes, particularly during our frequent ascents into the cloud. These were both distinctly damp and cold enough for the heated grips to come into play.
Quote of the day from John - These Czech  drivers are  f.....g lunatics,  I'm looking forward to getting some sensible drivers in Poland.  (my near head on into an oncoming overtaking car would beg to differ).
Sights of the day,  a white goose farm,  an upside-down house,  playing  cranes and eventually our hotel.
Dinner was to defeat us however.

BT XII - Day 8 pics

BT XII - Day 7 -pics

BT XII - Day 7

The day of the divertion.
OK the first was of our own making.   With a day of "normal" mileage Tomtom advised us of an early arrival. Rrather than face the straight-ish Austrian valley roads we set the  GPS to find us some wiggly roads.   The resulting trip through small rural hamlets was charming and very enjoyable.
Not so the next three diversions. one in  Germany and the final two in the Czech Republic.   There the roads are just closed with no obvious detour,   Even with the mighty Tomtom to aid us, navigation was a struggle at times and we seemed to be the object of much amusement to several road workers.
Again we arrived within our target window and set off for a drink and fine and cheap dinner in the centre of town, with free karaoke too. (half litre of beer approximately £1)
The scenery on the Czech roads was wonderful and you don't need mud flaps when a nice man in a white van (or car) is willing to provide the service free of charge by driving six inches behind you.
Final note :- Soda rapides and  Suzuki swifts aren't !

BT XII - Day 6

This is our only 2 night stop which means laundry and a day riding without luggage.  The down side of leaving your luggage is that you have to remember to take all your documents etc with you.....   oops!
OK a days riding trying to remain below plod's radar.   This was made more complicated when my Bluetooth headset completely packed up....... bugger.
On the up side, the weather was great, dry and not too hot.   The planned route was based on lakes and valleys and turned out to be an easy days ride with occasional fast sweeping curves (if a bit unchallenging).  There were a couple of fabulous passes later on in the day.   Although some of the roads may not have been top notch,  the scenery was outstanding.   As were the ice creams at the ski resort.
We briefly joined a gang of Harley riders descending a pass but eventually managed to work or way through the group before taking off on the open road again.
Incidents of the day include the oil spill (Whch fellow bikers warned us of and police waved us round) and the double car manoeuvre that almost resulted in a graeme shaped smear on the road.  (But obviously didn't)

BT XII - Day 5

Today was a baby bear day,  thankfully neither wet nor hot, which makes a change.
As the entire day seemed to flit from Austria to Germany and back,  we were thankful that there were no border controls otherwise we could have taken twice the time to cover the miles.

The initial blast over the mountain via  Kuhtai was very enjoyable. It settled down into a very pretty jaunt down the Innsbruck valley through the outskirts and industrial estates. The mist weaving is way through the mountains, escarpments and trees provided a wonderful backdrop.
The roads leading to and from Berchesgarten were their usual fantastic selves and blissfully light in traffic. 
Stand out points of the day include the kilted man on the bicycle and the Australian,  living in Poland that we meet in a lay-by.
After what seemed like a long day we arrived at the Hotel Retro {although I'm not sure that the decor lives up to its name } just before our target of 6pm.  Our Chinese supper would have been much improved without the smokers at the adjoining tables.

BT XII - Day 4 pics

BT XII - Day 4

Not quite as planned.
Today should have been a gentle introduction to Austria but after breakfast with the lovable Henri and Daggi we set off. We had been assured that the journey along the Bodensee {lake constance) would be fine but they hadn't taken account of the 1hr queue, and extensive filtering, caused by the train having run someone over {another first for barbietours). Some people just have no thought for others
Austria arrived with the rain which must have been going for some time because the rivers were in torrential flood.  In fact there were some rivers where rivers shouldn't be.  In fact there are some rivers where roads should have been,  our roads!
Because of the delays and the rain and the extreme cold,  we cut our route and chopped 45 minutes off ensuring an arrival at our hotel just as they were closing All access to it for the regions classic car rally.   We were also told when we checked in that today had been the wettest day of the year with almost 45cm of rain!!
Dinner was served early so that the staff (and ourselves) could go and watch the cars.
Who says that i don't lay on entertainment.

BT XII - Day 3

A ride in the black forest.
A blessed mercy, after breakfast we were able to dispense with our waterproofs and set off on our first dry day.
The day was spent wandering down the  B500, a route which we hadn't done before and which lived up to expectations with its sweeping curves and excellent surface.   The only thing limiting our enjoyment were the speed limits which John advised me were only advisory.  A view not endorsed by the police officer manning the mobile speed trap.  He urged me through hand signal to calm it down a bit.  I was offended as i was within  (just)  the speed limit,  OK I was overtaking a camper van on the wrong side of the road on a bend,  but really.
With an arrival time agreed we took several long-ish breaks and still managed to arrive at exactly  17.00 hours,  at the same time as the rain.
We are currently alone in our friends house (they obviously decided to go on holiday when they heard we were coming) but have been fed, watered, entertained and generally looked after by their sister Daggi.  We were eventually joined by Sasha and Jelena but will have to wait till breakfast to see the lovable Henri.
Despite our hostesses promises tomorrow will be damp according to the Norwegian weather service.

BT XII - Day 2

An eyeful of Eifel.
During a decent breakfast we watched the mist transform itself into thick low cloud necessitating another day in the waterproofs.
The morning was spent zigzagging up and down and round the valleys and hills of the Eifel region.   Whenever there was a danger of a dry line forming on the road we would head back up a ridge into the low cloud. At one point we crested a ridge to see the huge wind turbines cut off at hub level by the cloud, leaving only the lower sweep of the blades visible.  It looked seriously strange.
Then onto some circumnavigation of The Ring. (no not on the track but round the towns surrounding the track)  It was evident by the foto that when they crash,  they really crash.
The Mosel was the first place that was really busy, so no stops there.
Having completed the majority of the days 'umleitungs' (diversions)  - when the Germans dig up a road they really go for it!  (The final umleitung of the day even had an umleitung,  rendering it impossible to return to the town) We found ourselves having to do several miles on the autobahn, which was scary in the solid rain and the spray.
We stopped at the services for a comfort stop and John lent me 50c for the toilets,  turns out they dont accept  Egyptian money! Thanks John.
While stopped, the rain took the hint and followed suit leaving us to cover the final 40 miles on the first dry roads of the trip and letting me use, previously untroubled parts of my tread.
We arrived at our hotel as wet as we had been at any time so far only this time it was sweat,  at least our gloves had dried out.

BT XII - Day 1

The day commenced with the bad news that i had forgotten to pack some of my hay fever meds, The good news was that looking at the weather this was hardly likely to be an issue.  The ferry docked in what looked like a 2M day  (misty and moist)  The thick mist soon have way to light mist before settling down into a 2D day (distinctly damp) 
We started away from the port on motorway before switching to a tour of Dutch industrial estates and roads that were so narrow that I've seen wider cycle paths  (we were on roads, weren't we?).
All potential stops were thwarted by the Dutch and Germans showing sympathy with the weather and remaining shut resulting in a Barbietours first a stop at a Mcdonalds,  which we left slightly underwater - oops.
The afternoon at least saw some fine,  if a trifle wet, roads and an enjoyable jaunt through the  Eifel region.

BT XII - Day 0

Setting off at midday, we piloted a rural route down to the ferry at Hull.  The day was relatively uneventful except for the car trying to squeeze John into the central reservation.
You could tell the route was a rural one by the grass growing down the middle of the road and the children riding four up on a cow.  Other wildlife included two white doves ??
After a warm days rode we spent the last few (dreary) miles racing the rain clouds.  A race which we mostly won.
Once safely aboard and showered we settled down to our overpriced beers serenaded by the lounge pianist and trying to see the Humber bridge through the rain.

Barbietours XII - Day (-6)

With only a few days to go, the routes have been finalised, hotels booked and the bike fitted with brake pads which we hope will last the distance.  All that remains now is to wash the bike ?  Prepare the equipment and pack.
This years edition will take us on a new ferry route to Rotterdam and from there down through Germany and Austria and returning home via the Czech Republic and Poland with a few more inspections of sites that my father bombed in Germany on our way back along the north coast.

BARBIE TRIVIA

2016 will be the twelfth  Barbietour, since the initial tour in 2003
We will be visiting Poland this year to make a total number of 13 countries that have been have been visited (incl England and Wales)
10 riders have participated (incl 2 Germans)
This years tour will add 3202 European miles to make a total of 25,588 miles covered in mainland Europe.
Add extra for getting lost etc.
The 25,000 mile barrier will be breached on day 13 (13-6-16) – what could possibly go wrong ?.
The equivalent circumference of Earth will also be breached on the same day (European miles only)
12 of those miles were on unpaved roads. !
The total number of Barbietour miles now exceeds the total number of miles of Motorway AND Main roads in the UK.
After Barbie, John has completed ALL Barbie days EXCEPT 2. 
This years trip will add 3202 European miles making it again the longest yet and over the length of the first TWO tours combined.
BT12 is again 14 days riding in Europe.
We have 1 x 2 night stays ie 1 days riding without luggage.
The average daily mileage is 229 which is the slightly above the Barbietours average of 226
I would love to calculate the number of miles excluding roads we have done twice (or more) but life is STILL too short !
We have stayed in 61 different Hotels/ locations and this year will  add 11 new venues. 
We have used 6 different Ferry routes
Only 1 major 'incident' and ALL bikes have been ridden home.
Still only 3 occasions where the group 'lost' a rider. (Ainslie, John and Mac in Paris)
Numerous occasions where the group 'lost' the route.
46 (approximately) Wiener Schnitzels eaten by JB this was NOT added to last year but this year will see the opportunity for him to break his half century.
3 Rabbits have been eaten improperly, with little chance of adding a fourth this year.
(UK miles, hotels etc have not been included in the Barbietour Stats.)
The Statmeister